I have a young son who has started to respond to things that are clearly true with ‘no it’s not’ in a sassy shut down the conversation tone.
While it might sometimes be cute with a child, it is not cute consistently with friends, family or team members. Perhaps it’s because this goes against my every instinct which tells me that it’s in front of me and can be objectively observed, how can that be doubted. Perhaps it’s because it shuts down future responses and collaboration. Whatever the reason it is not one of my favorite traits in anyone.
When I was recently freeing someone for other opportunities (read: firing) it was clear that they way they saw the world was not the way I saw it and there was no reason to continue explaining since it was immaterial.
Once a team member playing a role does not see the world the way you do and there is a clear philosophical disagreement, there is no need to continue a conversation.
When I first started, I used to try to save everyone I worked with and make them better and fix all issues. I’ve spent too much time trying to make someone who doesn’t care as much as I do slightly better.
For me it hasn’t worked.
What has worked is creating an environment where the best people can thrive.
The key to that is almost never saying
‘I need more for that’
‘That’s not my job’